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Do I really want to grow up? Part 2

So going off of my entry in May 2009 (I am too noob for links on LJ), I am now done with my second year at Seton Hill. I'm going to be a junior this fall >_< Oh fuck me, lol. Soon I'm gonna have to figure out A, a job, or B, grad school. This frightens me. I've learned a lot over this past year. I've learned that I'm in the wrong major. I should be in school for film. However, I guess if I never came to this stupid school, I wouldn't know any of the wonderful friends I've made. A lot of things have happened and I mean A LOT. Some not so good, heh.

I got to be in Cabaret again. Just a Kit Kat girl this time, but boy was it fun! I miss being in shows. I never get cast at school so this was refreshing. Plus the director likes me and wants me to do more of her shows. I probably will. I'll get stage time and I'll meet people, which is ALWAYS a good thing in theatre. None of the community theatre I know of are close. It's depressing, but oh well. Seton Hill is doing Cabaret next spring too, and dammit I WILL get in it. I want my part again. It sounds awful to say, but there aren't many people at my school that can pull off Sally Bowles. 

Anyway, I guess my point is, once again, I am not ready to grow up, or graduate, or act like an independent person. At all. I mean, I want to be treated like an adult, but I still can't do a lot of things. Like I don't have a car, a real job, and I could never get my own place. I can't pay for insurance or anything bill-like. It's no fun really. It gives people the excuse to assume that I'm irresponsible. and young. I'm not that freaking young. At this performing arts camp I'm helping out with, people treat me like I'm still 16 or something. Last year, I helped my friend Joey with spotlight. Mind you, Joey and I had a thing January 09', but we're still friends and still talk. Now I told the head of the camp that I would help him again for the show, and she acted like I just wanted to hang all over him in the booth. Um, excuse me. No. I've had the same wonderful, darling boyfriend for a year now, I don't think I'm going to go "hang all over" Joey. Thanks, I'm not a slut nor am I another 13-year-old girl that drools over him. (He teaches dance and plenty of young girls that just want to ravage him, lol). It just pissed me off and made me not even want to help. I will because Joey said he wanted me too. Otherwise I would have given them a silent "fuck you" and not have come back. 

The moral of the story is, adults suck and Peter Pan rules, haha. Yeah, I'm a sick human being and love Peter Pan waaaay too much. 

Now onto better things. My friends at SHU are amazing as hell. I met a lot of new people this year and I couldn't be more grateful. People like Michael and Matthew and Anna are just amazing people. They are making my last life here on Earth wonderful. (I'm a witch and know that I ain't coming back next time, yep, I'm crazy). Anyway, I'm still great friends with Cameron. He's working as a performer at Kennywood, woo hoo! He's so phenomenal. I'm going to see him again tomorrow with my voice teacher, Jim and this time, I am video taping!!! I got an awesome, brand new camcorder from Christopher for our year anniversary (awww, lol). This thing is suhhweeet! He's such a sweetheart, lol, even when he drives me crazy ^_^  Love him ridiculously! Yay!

Well, that's about it now. I think I'm gonna take more time on this thing and try and make more friends. Add me if you want. No creepers though. Fuck that.

Caitlin

A bit of tom foolery

 Andrew looked down in silence. The inner turmoil he was facing was unbearable. It showed all over his warm-hearted face. Sal just stared. She couldn't take her eyes off of him. 
"To feel such pain," she thought, "I can't even imagine. Why is this happening to him of all people. He is a wonderful human being."
She stared a bit longer as he massaged his temples roughly and looked up,
"I'm sorry." He choked, "I know the last thing you want to hear are my problems."
Sal shook her head, "It's no issue whatsoever. You're my friend, Andrew. I care too much to ignore your pain. I can see it. Always. I can't stand it. You break my heart. I wish there was a way I could tell you that everything will be alright."
He looked down again then looked back up at her and smiled. It was a lovely sight for once. His aura returned to a more vivid purple. She smiled back. It was good to see that purple. 
"I just don't understand," Andrew muttered, "How someone could just, forget about someone that easily. To just... have all of those wonderful moments together then in one quick moment, whoosh!! All of those wonderful, happy memories fade away. Why does that happen? I tried to change... I really did." He slammed his fist on the table. Sal made no movement.
"You did NOTHING wrong, hon. Sometimes people change. Really. Some people are lucky that they are with the same person for years and years, even until death. Some of us aren't so lucky." She stopped and looked around. Jack was heading back towards the table with another Pepsi. She looked back at Andrew. His head was down again. He looked almost frightened. As if he were a small child hiding in the dark from the monsters under his bed. He had never felt more vulnerable. Jack sat down.
"I'm thinking of dropping out of school." Said Andrew. "I'm so scatterbrained nowadays. I fall asleep randomly, I forget things, I forget about classes. Do you know how behind I am?" 
Sal glanced at Jack. They caught each other's eye and then looked back at Andrew. 
Sal touched his arm, "You can't drop out. That's not the answer. You worked hard to get here; you have to stay."
Andrew looked around nervously, "I don't know... I just wonder why she just couldn't be content with me. What did I do? God, what the HELL did I do wrong? I love her, Sally. I do. I-I dunno what to do anymore. I feel better but I can't let all of those memories go. How could anyone? Two years of happiness!! TWO!! And now, with one stupid click, it's all gone." He looked up. "Did I do the right thing?"
Sal looked at him for a long time. "Of course you did. You were not in anything healthy. What's done is done. You may regret it, you may not, but you'll move on. It's normal to feel this way. People care about you. I care about you. You don't have to do this alone." 
He looked at her silently. Sal could feel the gratefulness in his lonely eyes. Eyes that could break a thousand hearts. 


Uhhhhh sterf.

I just realised something. People only really have these journals when they want to complain about something. And I honestly can't think of a damn thing to complain about. Well, except awkward things in the bedroom. Ugh. LOL. ANYWAY. Things have been going well. I'm in Carlisle for a week or so again visiting Chris (Swanny, whatever, lol). Aaaaand things are going well from that stand point. Mah tummy just hurts right now. XD Cam is good. He might have a love interest finally, yay! So happy for him. He deserves a nice boy like I have! Yay. Anyway not really in a ranting mood so, yeah. Byes!

Caitlin

Bored

Which wand should you recieve? (Harry Potter)
You scored as a 9" Ash with Dragon Hearstring
Think about working with Madam Pomfrey every once in a while, but try not to hex anyone in the process. People better treat you well or they might find themselves regrowing that ear the hard way!

9" Ash with Dragon Hearstring

 
79%

10" Willow with Veela Hair

 
68%

8 1/2" Willow with Hippogrif Talon

 
64%

9 1/2" Rosewood with Phoenix Feather

 
61%

14" Oak with Hippogrif Talon

 
57%

8" Cedar with Unicorn Hair

 
57%

7" Holly with Leprechaun Hair

 
54%

10" Mahogony with dragon heartstring

 
54%

11" elm with phoenix feather

 
43%

7 1/2" Birch with Veela Hair

 
39%

9" Rowan with Leprechaun Hair

 
36%
Who is your Harry Potter Soulmate?
You scored as a Neville Longbottom
you may be off in the shadows, but as soon as you get a new want you will become uber-powerful and save the earth! err...actually, no. but you will prove yourself worthy, just get that self-esteem up!

Neville Longbottom

 
88%

Harry Potter

 
69%

Ginny Weasley

 
56%

Luna Lovegood

 
56%

Hermione Granger

 
56%

Ron Weasley

 
31%

Draco Malfoy

 
31%

Fred/George Weasley

 
19%
Which Harry Potter School Subject would you be best at? yeh im a loser
You scored as a Transfiguration
So ou got transfiguration, good luck in turning into an animagus, and tell me if you do, i'd like that... being an animagus i mean...

Transfiguration

 
70%

Defense Against the Dark Arts

 
60%

Care of Magical Creatures

 
50%

Muggle Studies

 
30%

Potions

 
20%

Divination

 
10%


I was both!!!!
What Animal Guide Would You Produce If You Could Cast A Patronus?
You scored as a Stag
You are the stag. As you share qualities with the stag it is likely you are loyal and protective of those you care for. You are unwavering, if you believe you are right, you will not rest until others believe so to.

Owl

 
88%

Stag

 
88%

Dolphin

 
81%

Cat

 
81%

Tiger

 
75%

Elephant

 
50%
What Animal Guide Would You Produce If You Could Cast A Patronus?
You scored as a Owl
The owl is your protector and guide. You share characteristics with this animal and it is likely you are very rational, moral and wise. You always try to be helpful however this could be your downfall.

Owl

 
88%

Stag

 
88%

Dolphin

 
81%

Cat

 
81%

Tiger

 
75%

Elephant

 
50%

Prom pics!

I went with Billy Hinzman. I still can't get over the fact that I am a girl... lol

To save your brains...Collapse )
Hey, it's Caitlin...




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